Monday, May 06, 2013

This Band of Ethical Heroes (2/3) - Taking Action

Last month's post introduced the idea of joining the many ethical heroes at work and in our communities. As the recent events at the Boston Marathon and the West, Texas catastrophe remind us, would be heroes are needed everyday. Some of the feedback that I received suggested that many of you feel that you are ready to join, but have not been called into action yet. In this post I walk you through some great research on the steps that people go through before engaging in new behavior. My intention is to have you judge where you are in this continuum and to consider what you might do to go one step further to being an ethical hero. And to be clear, I am right there with you - I want to do more, I want to be better, and I want to make a difference. How can you and I be seen as heroes in our own right? What would it take? How can we prepare to take action?

Steps Along The Way to Changing Ourselves

Really, the only person who can change how you act or how you see yourself is you. People may try to get us to change, and sometimes it feels like we are being forced to do something, but we often resist those efforts. We can seem to go along with what somebody wants us to do, but that doesn't mean that our hearts are in it or that we won't stop when no one is looking. If we say "I won't become that person!" then it is almost impossible for another person to change us. But what about those situations where we decide that we might want to change things up, and yet we don't seem to motivate ourselves? Perhaps all those New Year's resolutions come to mind, or the honest promise to exercise more: we can find ourselves stuck in that "someday, but not today" mode of thinking. I know when it came to my decision to "do more good" I found that the decision to be different was not the same as actually becoming different. It turns out that most people go through this phase, and it is really a part of how we change ourselves. 



There is a ton of research from Jim Prochaska (at the University of Rhode Island) that explains how we change ourselves. This process can be boiled down to the six stages of change shown above. First, we go through some thinking stages, where we might get from a very negative position (I won't) to a less negative position (I might). Even further along these lines is when we start thinking about how to prepare and when we will start (I will). Dr. Prochaska's research indicates that people move from I won't to I might to I will when they see good reasons for changing, or what he calls PROs. No one else necessarily knows how we feel about these first three stages because the stages are all inside our heads. However, if we do decide to tell other people in our lives about how we are thinking, our movement up the ladder becomes more likely. When we start blogging about wanting to do more good (ahem), we create a bit of pressure to live up to what we publicly said we would do because we usually want to be consistent with our words. Furthermore, if we start thinking about all the benefits of changing our behavior, then we are inclined to be more motivated to act.

Actually taking action is obviously different from just thinking about a change, but even here there are stages. We can actually dip our toe in the water by trying something different (I am), but that does not necessarily stick. If it does, then we engage in this new behavior more frequently until it becomes routine (I have). Further, if we begin to define ourselves based on this behavior (I do), then we are highly likely to maintain that behavior on an ongoing basis. One of the fascinating aspects of Dr. Prochaska's research is that moving through these behavioral stages has less to do with discovering PROs and more to do with eliminating CONs - overcoming obstacles that we feel prevent us from taking action. In other words, even when we picture ourselves looking great on the beach, getting compliments, feeling good about ourselves, we can still find ourselves stuck on the couch with potato chips instead of exercising because we have not dealt with CONs. 

Becoming the Ethical Hero

Every potential change in our lives has some specific downsides. Exercising means finding time, doing less of other things, getting over some initial aches, and so on. Yet, what about our concept of being an Ethical Hero? If it seems great to be the one who speaks up, stands out, and makes something good happen or prevents something bad from happening, then what could possibly hold us back from doing it?  The answer: our perception of what others expect of us.

The moment when we hear our voice speaking up or see ourselves breaking rank with others, we move away from how the rest of the world is used to seeing us. "What does Paul think he is doing, writing about ethics? He is no saint! I can tell you stories about him!" The funny thing is that no one needs to say those things aloud. For me, I hear those voices in my head as if others were saying them. "They" (me) are telling me how my behavioral change is wrong for me, how it doesn't fit me, how I should just stay the same. I am guessing that all of us hear those negative voices in our heads, and it stops us dead in our tracks. We end up mentally debating why we should versus why we should not, and in the meantime nothing gets done. How can we get beyond that? Here are three techniques for moving yourself from the thinking stages to the doing stages.


  1. Imagine how you will feel 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years later. Suzy Welch created a technique for sorting out short-term emotions from lasting ones. It is called 10/10/10, and it has been highlighted in her 2010 book and in Chip & Dan Heath's new book Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work. Here's how it works. You are about to head into a meeting with your coworkers, unsure if you should say that you are no longer comfortable that your current business practice is ethical. You are afraid of their reaction and how they will treat you from that point on. Your career and your personal friendships are on the line. Do you speak up about your concerns? Well, imagine how you will feel if you do say something, but not at that moment. After all, that moment will be a bit scary - you know that. But what about 10 minutes later? You think, "I will feel glad that I spoke out, no matter how they react. It will be done, and I will feel pride in that." What about 10 months from now? You think, "Well, if others agree with me, then we can have a better procedure in place by then. If no one agrees with me, then I will have had 10 months to consider if I still want to be here. That's not so much scary as exciting." What about 10 years from now? You think, "Either this moment is long forgotten, or it is the moment where I changed everything... certainly not scary!" Separate the immediate feelings that can prevent action from the future feelings, which are likely more important to you.
  2. You want to go where nobody knows your name. If you aren't sure how your family and friends will react to seeing you doing something new, then get yourself in a new circle who don't know your from Adam (or Eve). Start out by compartmentalizing this new you. You might find a charitable event where a lot of other people volunteer time, and ask them if there are other opportunities to do more of the same. You might search the internet about an interesting social cause that might have a local chapter or local event coming up. For that matter, you might just want to plan out your next trip to the supermarket with a promise to make a stranger smile: give up your spot in the checkout line, help someone take groceries to the car, or buy a child a balloon. It doesn't matter how elaborate your action is. The important aspect is that you get some strangers to see you as that nice person.
  3. Be the actor in the movie. If you are still feeling anxious about changing from your typical self, then take on the role the way an actor in a movie would. Give yourself the command "Action!" and then play the part of the ethical hero. When if feels odd to speak out or stand out, you can remind yourself that this is what acting feels like. Relax, and see how others around you respond to your script. Look them in the eye, the way an actor would, with confidence. You will be amazed how people take you seriously even when you don't feel as calm as you seem. Later on you should review what you did, how you sounded, and the impact that you had on others around you. Even if it felt like you were acting like someone else, it was in fact you all along.
So, the next time you see an opportunity to act like the new you - the person you want to become - take a moment to consider what things might hold you back. Once you have that list, then you can see how many solutions you can generate to overcome those concerns. If you are hearing people's voices in your head, telling you that you cannot be different from the person they are used to, then pull out the 10/10/10, find a new setting, and act out the part. Do not miss the chance to follow through on a decision that you might or you will. Feel the thrill of becoming the person who can say "I am, " or "I have," or "I do."



 This post is not intended to represent any person or organization other than Paul M. Mastrangelo.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

This Band of Ethical Heroes (1/3) - Sleeper Agents

Imagine a movie set in a world where chaos and evil are everywhere, ethics are just about not getting caught, and one person is fighting for change. As our hero faces obstacle after obstacle, he comes across other rebels, and they form a rag-tag team that fights for justice and truth. Is this a trailer for a fantasy action thriller, or is it your reality and mine as we seek ethical behavior and social justice in our everyday world? 

Okay, our world still has ethical and moral standards, there are many sources of good left to be found, and we rarely have to act like action heroes to do the right thing. Still, "doing good" is under attack. 

Look at the business world. Despite a growing sense of corporate responsibility, companies face tremendous pressure to make continuously more money, and that pressure leads to behaviors that do not always meet ethical and moral standards. The large scale examples are obvious (e.g., Enron, BP and its suppliers, NECC), but even poor customer service and poor product quality are arguably failures to do what is right. Look at how workers and students treat peers - Bullying and cyber-bullying alienate people to the point where they consider suicide, school shootings, or workplace violence. (These last three links lead you news stories in the past few months alone). Even the most respected and virtuous of our organizations - the Catholic Church, Penn State University, the Boy Scouts of America - have difficulty policing their own members to ensure pedophiles do not abuse children (See Frank Bruni's Op Ed in the September 10, 2012 NY Times). 

Don't kid yourself. You and I are called to be ethical heroes everyday. We are likely to be surrounded by people who pretend to be unaware, or who decide it is not their problem, or who show passive complicity with a wrongdoing. Do we step up? Do we break the silence? Do we ask if anyone else feels uncomfortable? Do we say "No, I have a problem with this" without waiting for someone else to take action? We all like to see ourselves as the hero in the story, but being the hero requires more than fantasizing. We all want to believe that there is a hidden team for good out there, but they will not recognize us as part of that team unless they see that we are worthy. 

There are three phases in becoming an ethical hero. First, an ethical hero must be able to recognize what is good even when isolated from any support, like a sleeper agent. Second, an ethical hero must take action in supporting good, even when surrounded by reasons for not acting. Third, an ethical hero must transform from a lurking sleeper agent to a public beacon for other agents. This post describes the ethical hero as sleeper agent.

Ethical Sleeper Cells

After the attacks of September 11, 2001, the terms "sleeper agents" and "sleeper cells" were frequently used in describing the mission of the terrorist group Al Qaeda. I detest their mission of violence, but I am fascinated by their organizational structure. Their vision was formed by centralized top leaders, but the vision was executed by many decentralized local leaders who often had limited communication opportunities to stay coordinated. Think about that. In an environment with an increasing number of changes and variables, a loose organization of poorly connected agents exceeded their lethal, unspeakable goals. Well, what we need is that kind of organization, but with a morally "good" cause. In order to create "ethical sleeper cells" who loosely connect to ensure that people do the right thing in their everyday lives, there needs to be the same unified alignment. With so much work done in isolation, it is easy to lose direction either consciously (e.g., giving up the fight for lack of visible progress) or unconsciously (e.g., thinking your actions are right when they are not). To be that hero, that lone wolf who builds a connection of other isolated agents of good, there needs to be a code that the agents identify with and align to. If you are living the code, then you are connected to other agents even if you don't know it.

There are many possible ethical codes from philosophy and religion, but I learned a process for making ethical decisions back in my high school. I have never seen it anywhere in books, and I have lost contact with Mr. Poissont, who taught me the concept. (If anyone recognizes this, please let me know!) Still, this process is one I would recommend for anyone who is uncertain about what is the right thing to do, and I believe this is the code that an isolated ethical sleeper agent needs to ensure alignment to good.

I.C.O.C. = Issue, Circumstances, Options, Consequences


There are four considerations in deciding how to act ethically in any given situation. One should consider the Issue in general, the Circumstances surrounding the decision, the Options that one has in choosing to act, and the Consequences of one's actions.

  1. Issue. We frequently debate the morality of issues, such as gun control, abortion, or capital punishment. Even the basic morals that we teach our children can be considered to be general issues: Don't take things that are not yours, Treat others the way you want to be treated, etc. There is not always a clear consensus on issues, but most of us tend to know when we could do something that other people may not agree with. Let's face it; Many moral issues tend to be polarizing, and the two sides often debate to the point of demonizing each other. Let's sidestep all the debating for the sake of explanation. Why not define the ethical stance on an issue so that if anyone considers a specific behavior to be ethically wrong, then that behavior cannot be a universal truth. So, murder is wrong, and we should generally avoid killing another person. Likewise, there are positive ways of expressing what is ethical. For example, we should generally respect the fact that life is precious and cannot be rekindled once it is gone. Ethical heroes keep an open mind and try to find common ground when judging an ethical issue.                                                                                                                
  2. Circumstances. Most people agree that even when a behavior is ethically wrong, there are situations where that same behavior can be considered as not wrong. If someone were to be attacking a child with intent to kill the child, few people would find us at fault if we killed the attacker. Even though murder is wrong, killing someone to save an innocent life is a circumstance that alters the evaluation of the issue. Again, the infinite list of circumstances that surround an ethical issue will not always produce a universally accepted "exception" to the rule. However, the possibility of circumstances affecting the decision is itself well accepted. When faced with an ethical dilemma, remember that our circumstances may open a door that we generally consider to be closed. (We are wise to remember this aspect before harshly judging other people's actions.) Ethical heroes examine the unique aspects of the situation and carefully weigh what should and what should not affect the ethical decision at hand.                                                                                                     
  3. OptionsThe number and type of options that we have available also affect the ethics of our actions. Choosing to do something when there are countless available alternatives is different from doing something because there is no alternative. Therefore, one of the best things we can do when facing an ethical dilemma is to generate as many options as possible. A creative solution, or "third way," can produce an ethical outcome when none had previously seemed available. Ethical heroes should be sure to review and create as many options as possible.                                                                                                                                                                                       
  4. Consequences. Breaking the rules in order to achieve good is a fourth consideration for an ethical decision. Stopping at every stop light is hardly the right thing to do if it keeps our dying passenger from reaching a doctor. The end can justify the means, and the end can condemn the means. Such was the case at Penn State University, when people who knew of the abuses allegedly met the minimum requirements of what they should have done (legally, for example) but failed to do more when no changes were made. It seems that we can very easily misjudge consequences. Murderers can believe that the world is better off with their victims being dead (e.g., the attacks of September 11, 2001), and the pious can believe that they tried to do something even when much more was needed of them (e.g., Catholic church officials failing to expose sexual predators). Ethical heroes think critically about the consequences of their action and their inaction, even when (especially when) it would be easier to look away and hope for the best.                                                                                               
When you recognize that you are facing an ethical issue, and you or the people around you are not sure what the right thing to do is, work through the issue, the circumstances, the options, and the consequences as if they were the script for the ethical hero. I am reminded of the David Crosby song "Hero" and the line that says "He never wondered what was right or wrong. He just knew. He just knew."  If we want to form a band of ethical heroes, we need to know, too. Life won't be as simple as a movie hero's decision, but at least we can work through this process and then make our stand. 

NEXT:  The difference between knowing what is right and doing what is right.


This post is not intended to represent any person or organization other than Paul M. Mastrangelo.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

This Little Light of Mine

After a long hiatus, I am writing today with a slightly different purpose. This past year I have focused on approaches to changing organizations, mostly from an HR perspective. Since November, I have been focused on a different form of change. My wife has been diagnosed with cancer, and I see change in a more personal light. I am seeing how short term and long term goals must be changed. I am seeing how personal identities must be changed. I am seeing how fast and how painfully slow change can be. I am seeing how I need to change.

I believe these changes have been brought to my life as a wake up call. "Yo, this is God. What are you doing with your life? Your life full of conveniences, mobile technology, and career mindedness? There is more going on in this world. You have a higher purpose. What you thought was important may not be so. Check yourself." 

It's one thing for me to write about spreading change across many, but it is another thing to be doing it. Furthermore, what change is worth spreading? For what cause do I believe in so much that I am willing to go public and attempt to influence others? How can I do more?

I am inspired by positive responses to the recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, where Ann Curry suggested that people engage in 26 acts of random kindness in honor of the 26 innocent victims in Sandy Hook Elementary School. Passing on kindness is not new. Recall the public campaign Pass It On. These consist of the same infectious change techniques that I have written about (e.g., here and here and here) and that have been discussed by Malcolm Gladwell, Robert Cialdini, and others. I am also inspired by Corporate Rebels United, which I have Tweeted about recently. This is a small cross-organizational organization consisting of individuals who want to spark innovation across all of their employers- almost like a secret society for spreading creative thinking. 

Just after the sad news from Newtown came more sad news on Christmas Eve from Webster, NY - just a couple miles up the road from where I live, the town in which I send my son to school, the place where my wife goes to shop and my daughter has sleep overs with her friends. A deranged man set fire to his house to lure fire fighters into range so that he could shoot them. Two men lost their lives (Michael Chiapperini and Tomasz Kaczowka), and two more were critically injured (Joseph Hofstetter was shot in the pelvis and Theodore Scardino was hit in the shoulder and the knee).

Ladies and gentlemen, we need more "good" in our world. *I* need more good in the world, and *I* have not done enough about it. A candle that is covered gives no light and eventually dies out. A candle that is visible can light up a room, especially when that one flame can light an infinite number of other candles. 

So, why can't I form an organization of individuals committed to spreading good into organizations, far and wide? We need more good. We need more drivers who stop traffic to let others make a left turn. We need more shoppers who offer their unused coupons to others in the store. We need more volunteers who help isolated people in need of attention. We need more coworkers who remind us of the right way to do our business. We need more citizens who band together with people who differ in opinion, but share a common interest in improving our communities. We need a secret society whose purpose is to infiltrate all organizations in order to create more good. Where there is more good - more visible acts of goodness - there will be more faith, more hope, and more charity. 

This year expect stories, ideas, and (hopefully) my own experiences related to spreading what is good. It starts with me. I am praying daily, and I keep asking for the courage to act. Thinking about good is not enough. This tiny, barely significant little light of mine. I'm going to let it shine. Let my flame light yours, and go do the same. 

Post your efforts using #ChangeAtWork tweets at https://twitter.com/paulmastrangelo and/or posts on http://www.facebook.com/ChangeAtWork ... Be the change at work!



This post is not intended to represent any person or organization other than Paul M. Mastrangelo.